Saturday 4 November

I woke up at 6am and thought Rosemary was waking up too, but she was just stirring slightly in her sleep. I couldn't get back to sleep, though, so got up and let the dog out, made some Lemsip and took Rosemary's chair up to the office ready for when she would wake up. Then spent a bit of time catching up on the Internet. I heard her surface at 7am (Chris was still asleep in the bedroom, so I didn't leave her alone!) and went down to get her.

We had a feed, then a play in her chair, then changed her and she had a good long wriggle (maybe 15 minutes) on her mat and then she had her day clothes put on. We then came back upstairs and had some more chatting in her chair, another feed and some more chair time, then another nappy change, as she had done her daily poop. No leakage again, today, which was good, although it was bigger than yesterday's. Then came upstairs for another quick feed (drink?) and she fell asleep at about 9am.

Today Granny Jenny is coming to watch Rosemary so I can get lots of work done. We have a Monday deadline, which requires me to do pretty much a full day's work, because I was too ill to get anything other than responding to a few emails done yesterday. Hopefully Rosemary will play happily with her Granny and only need a feed every few hours. And hopefully I'll be able to stop myself from runnung downstairs every 5 minutes!

Rosemary woke at 9.30am after a half hour nap and Granny arrived at about 9.40am. Rosemary was crying by 10am, but she would be wanting a 'proper' feed about then, so that's why. She fed for about half an hour and then was happy again for a bit, but crying again at 11am, fed some more then she slept from 11.30am (as did Granny). Woke again at 12.30am. Had another feed, then went down on her mat under play gym with Granny watching. Grumpy again about 1.30pm, had another feed and about an hour's sleep, then played happily with Granny for a couple of hours. They read books, sang songs and walked around looking at things. I was a bit worried that she'd roll over or do something else new while I was upstairs, but she didn't.

Granny went home about 5pm, after I managed to get in a long shower (and shave my legs for the first time in a while - not that you really wanted to know that!). As always when I can't hear Rosemary (e.g. in shower, while kettle is boiling, when the hoover's on, etc.) I could hear her screaming the whole time. When I turned the shower off I couldn't hear anything, though and then when I was dressed and went downstairs to check it turned out she had been perfectly fine. Of course. I had to pop out to the shop in the evening without her (didn't want to take her out in the dark after the last time and it was easier for me to nip out than Chris) and I had the same problem. I was OK while I was on the phone to my dad, but as soon as I hung up my head was filled with Rosemary's cries. And again she had been perfectly fine. I think this is something else that goes back to her being in SCBU. Or maybe it's something that all mums experience. It's horrible, anyway, and I don't know how I'll ever be able to leave her for longer than half an hour.

Rosemary and I spent the evening in the living room, chatting away and singing and smiling and cuddling. There was also some feeding (of both of us) involved at some point! Chris was in and out as well while he made his dinner, although he did have to go back upstairs to work later. We went upstairs at about 9.15pm and she got changed into her night clothes. (All wet nappies apart from the dirty one in the morning, incidentally, so it definitely looks like she's settled into one poop per day.) She then had a bit of time lying on the bed and a feed. She was looking like she was falling asleep, though hadn't completely done so at about 9.50pm, so I thought I'd put her in her crib and see what happened. She fell asleep and was fully asleep by 10pm. She didn't wake up until 4am, when she had a 20-minute, one-sided feed and went back to sleep until 5.45am. Then she was having a lot of trouble with a snotty nose, so I brought her upstairs for another quick (other side) feed and to sleep in her chair, where the uprightedness would help with snottiness.

So, Saturday was quite successful, in that I got more work done than I would have otherwise, Granny got to spend some quality time with Rosemary and I had a little lesson in trying to let go. I have to say that I'm extremely grateful that we work from home and that I'm not going to have to go off to work and put her in a nursery or something similar. Because I really don't know that I would be able to.